Gold Label

Johnnie came to me from his home beneath the sink. I have nothing to give him but hotel shampoo, he tells me not to worry, takes his products and goes home to dish detergent.

Months went by and I waited for his preaching’s to come true, my hair is now greasy, my bagel is stale, my brother is in denial, my dad is Virginia tech in the planning stages.
And my mom lies.

Johnnie finally came back wide eyed and bushy haired. He had seen and applauded my neck snapping and my arms bleeding. He took my good wrist and sliced me open. But I wouldn’t bleed for him. Johnnie has always been a friend and gave me a bandaid.

Now I hallucinate
       I scream
       I cry
Now I have hate
       I have anger
       I have my own lies.

Yesterday I peeled off my skin except that around my bandaid. I fed it to the fat yellow cat outside my steps. As he ripped of chunks the size of my face (ha) I smiled because maybe now I could be someone else.

Johnnielikes to sneak into my dreams, poison my thoughts. He’s killed me three times today,
one drowning
one bullet to the chest
one suicide.
He hands me a joint after each and tells me to enjoy myself because he always comes back.